Doubts

People say that they hear God speaking to them. I personally haven't heard any audible words, but I have felt His calling on my life. As a result I think that I hear a lot from Satan as well. Satan knows what God is doing in our lives and he doesn't like it. So to combat it he speaks. Oh it's not audible just like I haven't heard God audibly. He speaks in ways that we sometimes don't see them coming. He speaks to my doubts "What do you think you're doing? You're not good enough to become a missionary! God can't use a sinner like you. You're going to fail and return home disgraced." I have been feeling a little apprehensive about this whole thing lately. The home that needs to sell for our house to be sold hasn't yet. We have so much to do yet to empty our house and so much to go through that it seems overwhelming. We haven't heard if we are accepted yet from YWAM Tyler. All this weighs heavily on me. I can feel it.

Then there's the BUT (usually the BUT is the bad thing)... But God has promised to take care of us. But God has removed all my sins and made me clean. But God can use me a dreadful sinner just like all the other dreadful sinners He has used in the past. But God can and will sustain us, even when we feel like giving up and going home.

I need to remember to claim the promises of God and live them out everyday. I need to remember to "resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7) When those doubts creep up on me I need to look to His Word to answer those doubts. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." A wise friend of mine once talked about this passage. She said that it was interesting that out of such a negative book, that one of the best know verses out of it was one of the most positive and uplifting. Most of all I need to not worry. God has known our needs way before we have known that they exist. He knows right when that house is going to sell. He knows that we need the time to go through our house and get it ready. He has been teaching a lot with that as well. I am surprised at how much junk we have accumulated. Suddenly all of these things that seemed so important to us we don't even hesitate in selling or giving away. I have peace that God will work it out and that His timing will be perfect. I need to remember the words of one of my favorite hymns:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,
it is well, it is well with my soul.

Horatio G. Spafford

So I will trust God to take care of us. He hasn't let me down yet and I suppose that He never will.

It is truly well with my soul.